A THERAPEUTIC JOURNEY by Alain de Botton
I’m a big fan of Alain de Botton and his latest book, once again, did not disappoint. This time around it’s a really insightful exploration of what mental illness is, presented alongside well-being too, how we can cope with a variety of forms of mental pain and illnesses and why might we become ill in the first place.
Botton's observation is that many people's distress is routed in their childhood. We are all essentially fragile creatures in desperate need of love, caring and support. His book is split into five sections: challenge, love, art, freedom and hope; He argues that each of these can constitute a form of healing.
“It is in simplicity and small things that contentment and joy lies.”
At heart, this is a read about how we can (re)discover the meaning in our lives through kindness and connection.
Below I’ve highlighted Botton’s suggestions of starting our own therapeutic journeys:
Childhood matters - we all carry around old scripts because of complex situations from our past. Interestingly put by the author, often the child tends to solve what was on the plate of its parents.
Get in touch with your true self - learn to also listen to what you really feel and want in contrast with the full self which is designed to meet the expectations of society. Part of what can contribute to illness is not having had your true self come to surface very often.
Listen to your body - our bodies are the receptors of all feelings, including the ones we have disowned. Our mind needs time to process whatever has happened to us and if we do not allow that time, it will seek unconscious expression in the form of painful bodily symptoms.
Embrace therapy - the work of attending therapy is not only a chance to be seen by somebody else but also a chance to finally start unpacking your life story, practicing resilience and compassion along the way.
No one is normal - mental illness is a spectrum and being flexible means accommodating our darkest sides too. Be prepared to feel uncomfortable because the more you dare sit with that feeling, the closer you’ll be to becoming an explorer of yourself.
I actually loved that here and there throughout the book, Botton puts things into perspective and gets us contemplating about the enormity of the universe, just how short life on Earth can be and how insignificant everything else seems when we look at it this way.
So let’s all learn a little ahead of time and remember to celebrate the real reasons to keep living; those brief moments of happiness that we still exist, that we can still hold hands and be kind.