THE CONQUEST OF HAPPINESS by Bertrand Russell

In his book, Russell set out to examine the causes of unhappiness in the early 20th century.

To summarise, the reasons why so many people seem anxious, depressed or upset have to do with the following: meaninglessness, competition, boredom, fatigue, envy, guilt and shame, persecution mania and fear of public opinion.

“Very few people can be happy unless their way of life and their outlook on the world is approved by those with whom they have social relations, and more especially, by those with whom they live”

While an important aspect to happiness is not caring about what others think of you or what others think is important, Russell also observed those who seemed genuinely happy and he concluded that zest, affection, family, work, perspective, balance and radiance play a critical role.

I’ll go through them one by one, briefly highlighting the main message.

• By zest he means a thirst for life, have new experiences and take an interest in whatever you would like to.

• Allow yourself to freely give and receive affection, it enforces a feeling of security and trust.

• Considering all the hardships of parenthood, Russell still believes that “the happiness of parenthood is greater than any other that I have experienced.” Also it’s human nature to want to feel unconditional love and make meaningful connections.

• Work can bring satisfaction through its structural aspects however Russell advises that in order to be happy we need work that has some sort of meaning, purpose and higher calling.

• Here’s something that puts things into perspective:

“It is very easy to become so absorbed in our own pursuits, our own circle, our own type of work, that we forget how small a part this is of the total human activity and how many things in the world are entirely unaffected by what we do.”

In simpler words, there is more to life than what we see in our tiny personal field.

As for keeping a balance, Russell notes that you have to know when to put in effort, and when to back off. He called this “effort and resignation.”

“God, grant me serenity to accept things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.”

In the end, it’s about that inner radiance that you can just feel and see on the outside when someone is truly happy.

That ultimately comes from how we relate to other people and from the intimate positive relationships that we have in life.