THE FIVE INVITATIONS by Frank Ostaseski
The truth is, as much as we don’t want to think about it, “life and death are a package deal”. It is the one certainty we all have to face. This book presents us with deep and meaningful stories that make us consider our mortality more because ultimately, it will impact the way we live, how we interact with others and with ourselves.
“Death is not waiting for us at the end of a long road. Death is always with us, in the marrow of every passing moment. She is the secret teacher hiding in plain sight. She helps us to discover what matters most.”
These five invitations come from the author’s roots in Buddhist tradition but also from the lessons learned over the course of his life as a compassionate caregiver and cofounder of the Zen Hospice Project.
Don’t wait - “Don’t wait. Everything we need is right in front of us. Impermanence is the doorway to possibility. Embracing it is where true freedom lies.”
Welcome everything; push away nothing - “We cannot always change what we must face, but we cannot change anything that we are unwilling to change”
Bring your whole self to the experience - “We cannot be truly alive without maintaining an awareness of death.”
Find a place to rest in the middle of things - “None of the conditions have to change but instead, to relate different to the conditions we find ourselves in.”
Cultivate don’t know mind - “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.”
There are a couple of things that I will carry with me from this book.
Firstly, and this is why I personally resonate so much with the Buddhist teachings, cultivate a mind that is open to investigate our own relationship with sickness and death and make peace with it. Whatever shows up, allow it and turn toward it to see what is has to teach you.
Secondly, the fact that things are impermanent is precisely the reason why we should invest completely, in everything and everyone. It’s what leads to a life of integrity, a life that has meaning and purpose.
Lastly, impermanence is not just about ending, but it’s also about change and becoming. It’s finding our way to transformation now, by being present and not letting our attention to be scattered.
The teachings in this book are truly timeless and it is an invitation to do exactly what the title promises: consider what death can teach us about living fully.